How do you feel about criticism? Do you do everything you can do avoid it? Does your fear of criticism hold you back from being your true self?
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind. ~Dr. Seuss
Working hard to make sure that no one criticizes us is just plain silly.
Second, generally speaking there is no “right” way, just each individual’s way.
Last, ummm, people are criticizing you anyway….maybe just not to your face. Of course, they do. They did in the past, they do now, and they will forever.
You were born an original. Don’t die a copy. ~John Mason
People Will Criticize You
We are so accustomed to disguise ourselves to others that in the end we become disguised to ourselves. ~François Duc de La Rochefoucauld
A few tips to get started:
- Try to do the work to uncover who you really are deep down inside. To listen to YOUR inner truth. When you do, you can then make a choice to be more authentic, more “yourself.” Try to avoid shooting for perfection because it’s unattainable…or at the very least, unsustainable. Be true to yourself rather than looking externally for approval and feedback.
- Pay attention to your inner dialogue – the inner critic. It is possible that you are your WORST critic. Can you try to be more gentle with yourself and with others? Try for one day to not criticize others and when you say something unkind to yourself, try to notice and stop. Gentleness and compassion towards ourselves is a huge step in the right direction.
- Remind yourself that you are an adult and you make your own choices that work for you in your life. If you remember that you are making a CHOICE to be one way or another, you will be less likely to feel influenced by others. You will also be less likely to fear criticism for your choices.
- When people who care about you are criticizing you, trust that they love you and have your best interest in mind. They probably think they are helping you. Ask clarifying questions. It is possible you are misunderstanding what they are saying. It’s also possible that they have something valuable to share and are not delivering their message well. Cut them some slack and meet them with an open-mind.
He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away. ~Raymond Hull